“Bzzzz … bzzz …, what, what is …” still half asleep. “Bzzzz …. Bzzzt” and suddenly I feel a sensation on my bottom lip. I shook my head: “WTF fly? What are you doing?” Waking up fully. Even though, I didn’t felt like it, yet.
First I was annoyed. I can’t really recall if I wanted to do a revenge hunt or what, but what I can recall is that after few moments I felt grateful. “Hey, at least I am up earlier than usual. Thanks fly.”
I did my usual morning routine stuff and after a meal I went back to my room to learn some coding. Sitting in front a computer trying to focus on learning and I hear: ”Bzzz … bzzz ….” She was flying right over my head. “Go away fly!” gently moved my hand towards her flying trajectory.
No response. She started to circle even closer. “What is it? Does my hair stinks or what is luring her to fly over my hair?” Annoyed a bit, I smashed my hand faster to hit her away.
Let me tell you she didn’t give a fuck. She was even flying in this slow pace. You know how sometimes when they are inside they get lazy and fly on a chill mode? Yeah, that.
After some time of peace, she was back again. She wasn’t even sitting, just hovering around. It started to be absurd at moments: “What are you doing? You have the whole room to fly around?!” and felt how the annoyance is building up slowly.
I couldn’t figure out how to code something and felt really pissed. “Bzzzzz … bzzz” flying again around me. I snapped and while she was in front of me I grabbed her reflexively with my hand.
“Oh no,” looking at my closed hand realizing what happened. I didn’t even mean to grabbed her. I opened my closed hand and saw her unmoving body inside my palm. “She helped me to wake me up today!” I felt really sad looking at her. “I’m sorry,” trying to find a place where to put her.
I found a small place on my lamp, within the range of my hand and started to think. “She was just flying around,” contemplating how the inner frustration bubbled up and I snapped on her. The annoyance had very little to do with her at the moment.
And this is what I see as an insight today. How we sometimes act out our inner state on others not realizing that they have very little to do with it. Let’s just observe the sudden energy rise next time and let the acting out not used.
Yeah, while being outside I wanted to take care of her body. To recycle it you know the song: “The circle of life,” from Lion King. That thing, so I wanted to throw her to chickens.
Came inside, looked at the lamp and there she was walking around. “What? She is alive?” just crawling here and there over the surface. “Hey buddy, wanna go out?”
I put the hand for her to crawl on top of it, and we went outside. What should I say, a day with a fly.
Take care of your flies, ask them to leave you alone when feeling annoyed. You both would be happier.