Today I wanted to go outside of the comfort bubble and do a thing that I was walking around with thoughts for a long time. Each time I visited this action, I was throwing the emotions onto it, while imagining.
After some time this thing become like an monster with all the different emotions attached to it. Big, bulky, heavy and with a feeling colour palette, similar to when you try to draw with water colours and you put too many of them there.
So I planned to face it and a first step was to dial down the anxiety with my morning routine of yoga and breathing exercise.
During the yoga I could see that I was more called to the more energetic moves like trying to catch a sun or those poses you know.
Then, what I usually did was trying to lower the amount of this anxiety energy. Which sometimes turned against me because It wasn’t working and I start to resist it and bla bla, you may know it to.
Then I recalled a tactic that I used when I was walking in the wilderness from Czech to Greece. Usually what I did to help me with this feelings was to play a song from Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack playlist, put the headphones in and walk towards my fears.
At the times there wasn’t a too much thought to it. It was a thing I did to move forward.
Going back to today and seeing the call to more energized yoga moves, I was like let’s do it. I was preparing to go and played the song: ”Hooked on a feelings,” This one was playing in my head so I wanted exactly this one. I didn’t know why.
And I started to dance with my feelings. It was blasting and I was throwing the dance moves with it. I was even concerned that someone would see me and thing that I am not “normal”.
“Okay, let’s go!” even now I can feel the traces of energy, just writing it.
The point I want to share is probably this. Sometimes trying to change the feelings put us onto a path to resistance. I was there and I resist resisting the resistance.
Sometimes dancing with the emotions is the path to go. Not trying to change the energy we are experiencing in the body in any way. Rather using it as a propellant to move and do whatever we want to do.
Then the anxiety feeling, may change to a different label, a label called excitement.
Whatever you do be with your feelings. I usually didn’t like when someone said this because I had “hard times” being with some. “Yeah, and how the frick should I do it? Like, I want exact instructions step by step!” Well the dance with it may be exactly those instructions and one path to experiment with.
Yeah, enjoy your hooked on a feelings dance, and dance it to the end.
Bye, take care and see ya tomorrow,