Looking at a Situation Through Lenses of Psychological Characters
Today, I went for a walk with my nephew and I acted out a bit like a jerk.
But before I’ll go to a story I want to establish characters through which I would look at it. I was listening to a guy who reseracted the idea recently, of seeing the situation through lenses of characters. And I use this three psychology based characters.
First is the Super ego. You know that guy, he whines, judge, bitch around everything. He knows everything and he is always right. The second one is wisdom. He’s almost the opposite. He is our best version, calm, peaceful all loving and knowing. The rest is the ego. That’s whatever images and bundle of thoughts that you have about yourself.
Let’s go to a situation.
Me and my nephew are going for a walk with a dog. We talk about the girls stuff, we even have a code names for the girl to not uncover the identity for me. Yeah, it’s fun.
When we leave for the walk today, I had a harder time listening to him. He was telling the stories and I could notice how my brain is just saying: “I don’t know, just stop it?” We went a long way and at the moment of turning back, we talk a bit and listened to a river. He said:
“I was saying in a school that I would like to program games in …” a gaming company.
Now after he said it, he asked, what do I think. Or maybe he didn’t even ask, I just reacted:
“Yeah, to be a slave there?” with a super ignorant, jerk like I know shit voice.
Thinking about it now I would say it was the super ego me. Like where did it come from? He went to say another gaming company name and:
“I’ll draw characters there.”
I just hunched my shoulders.
Thinking about it now. What, why, just. I so don’t like when people do this, when someone has a starting idea just a spark. And they go this Super ego: “It’s shit, don’t even bother.” Whether they say it out loud or just act out nonverbally.
Now needless to say, or my ego want’s to note that there were multiple moments, where I showed him ideas where he can go. That there isn’t only one route, it’s all crazy open. People eating on YouTube. I try to open his eyes to the countless possibilities. Okay that’s enough of a defense ego.
Edit: Just to clarify, the super ego is still part of you. Even thought we make those characters, there are usually for illustrations. It’s all part of your SELF as C.G.Jung called it. Not to use the super ego as a avoiding mechanism from the behaviors. It’s more of a way how to access it differently.
Back to it, when I think about it now. It all originated of this less than ideal state of the consciousness this need to be quiet, to rest. Rest from thoughts. What would a wisdom do in that situation?
Wisdom: “Hey man, see the asphalt? Yeah, I would like to stare at it without words.” Okay maybe not. That’s probably my joking ego.
He would do this: “Hey, I notice that I have hard time listening to you fully. I would need a bit of word rest now. Could you wait for a 5 minutes with the story?” Yeah, the first option sound more fun.
But in an easy term this is what wisdom does. He connects to whatever it’s alive in him and make a present request. What he would like to do now. Wisdom inspired by Marshall Rosenberg the creator of Non-violent communication.
See easy-peasy. It’s just there are those moments when we feel less than ideal. Don’t be afraid to ask for a pause. It may surprise, how open the other people may receive it. Don’t feel like listening? Ask for a bit of rest. Just make the request present, and actionable. Not to hand them in the uncertainty.
You see I helped a bit with the characters here. The normal writing it’s just me, or this bundle of thoughts by someone labeled ego.
So you can also use these characters, and notice how would the situation end up if you’ll be more in the wisdom mode. Remember even recalling the situation, be present, don’t beat yourself. What wisdom usually does is just increase the awareness at the moment. Now, no not in the story I just told you, now. At this moment.