Rant: Dog’s bark in human language

There is this moment when a dog activate muscles in his throat, pressuring an air which travels thorough space in a wave form, with a speed of one eifel tower per second (+20 m) hitting all sorts of object till it finally hits your ear drum.

This drum drumms other parts of the drum mechanism moving tiny, tiny hairs inside your ear, building electric potential inside the hair neuron, till he cannot hold it anymore and shakes his whole body which shakes his neighbor and a next one till it travels to temporal lobe, where shakes are processed to perception: “Bark.”

That is normal dog’s bark of your neighbor dog or any other dog you can hear.

Then there is your dog bark and his ability to bark in humanish.

Bark:”Hey you, I wanna go outside!”

Me thinking to myself: ’I hear you man, I just wanna finish something first.’

A bit of pause and bark again: “I wanna go outside. You need to go with me.”

Me: ’Listen I know, let me focus on my drawings.’

Bark:”Hey everybody, he doesn’t want, to let me out!”

“I want to draw!” opening my eyes to inhale calm air through them.

There are some dogs, that tingle your ear’s hairs in a way that is naturally unpleasnat. Like chihuahuas. This is not one of them.

Not at all, however when mine barks somewhere in the middle with the noise there is additional coding and perception: ”Please somebody help.”

‘It’s hard to focus’ noticing myself stiff waiting for the next bark.

Bark: ”He is torturing me, please anybody?!” from background.

I can sense energy all over my body ready to erupt like a volcano.

“Anybody, I need to go!” bark, right in the middle of my attempt, to calm down.

‘I am fricking touching your poop you animal! Do you undrestand how much intimicy that requires?!”

Totally ignoring this telephaty message and barks: “Please, let me outside.”

Feeling angry and thinking out loud: “I don’t even want to go with you, anymore.”

Bark: “I want to go please.”

Me:”Wait till I finish this part” saying to him with a calm voice suppressing the anger bubble.

“Please anobody?!” bark.

I don’t want to tell him, well to stop being a dog. It doesn’t even work! On top of that I understand, that the only reason I feel anger is because of the way I think, about the pressured air sound.

For anyone hearing humanish in dog’s barks, I feel you. That is a training for …, who knows what.

I feel so numb, after the cookies I ate to deal with the unpleasant emotions.

Bye and take care,


Written by

Just writing.

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