Waking Up Struggle and One Counterintuitive Approach.
You know this ever present struggle when waking up? I’ve just tried an idea of how to approach it a bit differentially.
Yesterday, when waking up, it looked a bit like this. “Let’s wake up” and then body opposition: “No not yet”. I laid on the bed a bit longer and ‘Vuala,’ another time jump. That repeated itself a couple of times till I finally woke up terrified of the time I saw on my mobile.
So today, I approached it differently. I did this small change. Rather than resisting the first thing in the morning that comes to my mind, I went along with it.
Waking up and feeling like not waking up. I said to myself: “Okay, I am not waking up.” Something like that. I basically tried to be in line with what I am going to do rather than pushing myself to something that would result in this pile of frustration and resistance.
And, I found peace at this moment of honesty. All of a sudden I was even free to chose whether I would wake up or not.
It is basically a radical not bullshitting yourself. If you know that you would not wake up the first wake-up then, don’t say it to yourself. Try rather “I am not waking up now, even if I want to.”
I didn’t ultimately wake up. Jokes on me. I fell asleep again. But I didn’t need to beat myself up, next aware moment: “Oh no you didn’t wake up. Why haven’t you.” Worsening the situation even more.
Okay, I’m aware of my credibility crumbling at the moment, when you actually can’t afford the comfort of delivering: “Let’s not wake up”. I do! But hear me out, there is a teaching here I would like to share.
Be honest with what is happening at the moment. Rather than saying: “I’m waking up, I’m waking up,” and you haven’t even opened your eyes yet, make an observation: “I’m not waking up, and my eyes are glued, I’m pretending to do the waking up moves, but I just covered my ass under the blanket even more.” See that’s what I talk about.
Moreover, if you have a history of delivering 2 snooze buttons before actually waking up, then don’t bullshit yourself that tomorrow would be the day.
“Tomorrow, I would wake up right at the first one.” No, you wouldn’t! And your girlfriend look, after opening the door in the evening, seeing her first time from the morning would be the proof, that you haven’t! Spare yourself the moment of welcoming, and be honest.
Prepare her for the impact of the 3 alarm wave ringing and you, not actually waking up to the first two of them. Embrace it and enjoy the snoozing. “I am clicking the snooze button. Now the best 9 minutes of my sleep are coming!” At least you can laugh at it or you would sleep outside. I don’t know about your girlfriend.
Recalling funny moments with ex-es aside, when facing something that you want to do, but ultimately would not, there is almost like a divorce from the present moment. For a moment you go to this weird state of eating the cake but not really wanting to, and then you come back to present with all the regrets and guilt or whatever.
When you know you would eat the cake, just be present when doing it. “This is me, and I am eating a cake.” There is something poetic about it. I just imagined this dramatic scene from movies when they say it with a sword pointing to the sky: “This is me, and I shall eat the cake now.”
Yeah, I just, I am starting to find a lot of freedom resulting out of this courage to be in the present.
I didn’t know what would happen in the morning. But I did wake up earlier than yesterday, even though I went to sleep late. A small success in the direction, I would like to go.
Oh, another practice you can try. You know this stream of procrastination when you watch multiple YouTube videos? Yeah, at that moment you may also do this divorce from the present. This time, before watching a video say to yourself: “I am now gonna watch this video for -” look at the time of the video “- minutes.”. Then, well, I don’t want to spoil it. Let’s see what happens.
See you people and don’t divorce from the present moment,
Me from the future: It worked! Rather then saying the usual:”Wake up, wake up” I’ve starting commenting upon what I actually do: ”Still not moving, still under blanket”. I can’t recall the exact phrases but it’s fun. I did wake up on the wished time.